Conceptualising Self-Awareness for Coaches and Coaching: And why we never fully attain self-awareness!

By Julia Carden. Posted on January 3rd, 2024 in Article.
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As coaches, coach trainers and coach supervisors we often talk about self-awareness and why it is important to ourselves and our clients, and I have already posted on what self-awareness is and why it is important to us as coaches.  Building on this and my research I now attempt to offer an overall conceptualisation of the construct showing not only what it is, but also its importance to coach development and coaching, and how self-awareness can support effective leadership. Looking at the diagram in the image-  the diagram highlights the components (or ingredients) of self-awareness.  The inter-personal components (those that are seen by others and impact how we show up with others) are primary because we are developing self-awareness for the purpose of our coaching practice or as leaders of others.  If we were doing it for our own self-interest, it could be considered somewhat narcistic in nature, hence my logic in placing the interpersonal components first.  Having spent some time exploring and developing the components we can start to deepen our self-knowledge of our own biases, triggers, and responses; this is the output of self-awareness and clarifies the difference between self-awareness and self-knowledge in that self-knowledge is the result of self-awareness.

Having taken the step to develop self-awareness and build self-knowledge we are able to develop human connection, shown by the latter part of the diagram – which is that ability to connect deeply with others as a coach or as a leader.  However, whilst this sounds simplistic and easy, we cannot fully connect with others until we have connected with self, and this of course is hard work.  To connect with self, we must develop self-acceptance through self-compassion; be able to manage and regulate ourselves and still accept self.  Only when we have reached this level of deep self-connection can we truly connect with others because as Yetunde Hoffman (2020) says:

“Love is an unconditional acceptance of all of who I am as a human being and an unconditional acceptance of all of who you are.  It is therefore the ability to value myself and others.”

It is the development of self-awareness which enables the self-connection and then the client connection.  The client connection cannot happen without the work first on self-connection which is highlighted by the latter part of the diagram.  This enables us to coach and lead at a deeper level.

This conceptualisation is shown as a linear process, when in fact it is on-going, dynamic, and never ending – in my mind an infinite game (which I will write more about later in the year).  Due to the never-ending work of self-awareness and self-connection I would argue that it is impossible to ever be fully self-aware and if we catch ourselves saying or feeling “yeah, I’m self-aware” we are almost certainly not and will have certainly tipped into self-delusion and hubris!

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